1. |
Four Months
03:16
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First semester of sophmore year is not longer present,
this winter is hitting harder than ever.
Some days it's naive thinking you can beat the weather,
are things getting better?
Two months in the anxieties won
and I went home to lay face down in bed.
But last week on the train I felt like I left something more than my hometown station.
Four months of breathing through knitted scarfs and walking on ice, makes the same ground feel so stabile in spring.
But I can't remember certain things I've learned,
making me repeat the same mistakes I know I'm about to make
all in vain.
December makes me feel like I'm changing,
this time like I'm closer than ever to be someone
who I could eventually be comfortable with.
What does that say, really?
Two months in to sophmore year the anxieties won,
but last week on the train I felt like I left something more than my hometown station.
Are things getting better, really?
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2. |
... but mostly quiet
03:51
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Fall 2012, I still feel the same.
The plot is repeating only the soundtrack has changed.
I don't think I'll ever know that change is constant but only gradually. But I hope that atleast by next year the routines that I'm stuck in will be my own.
I can't keep up sith all the weight stacking up on my shoulders.
I'm a dreamer losing sleep, I'm a misanthrope feeling disappointed.
I always look down on my shoes too long, I can never make up my mind.
I'm not good enough at lying to live my life in superlative,
most days are mediocre at best, and I'm not good enough at pretending to think I know what I want. I have no idea and it scares me to death.
I can't keep up with all the weight stacking up on my shoulders.
It's exhausting hitting new lows on a row, I'm calling in sick forever.
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3. |
Defeat (pt. 3)
00:56
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4. |
Davy Jones
01:52
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I am carving my own heart out. I'll lock it in a chest and let it bury itself
at the bottom of the sea in hopes that would help me forget how to feel
I tend to overthink about everything which leaves me nowhere and drags me further backwards I am fighting to find some common ground with myself and the world
well, that path seems deader than I fucking feel
I'm disowning my feelings
They're just holding me back
I'm disowning my own heart
I can't fucking handle it
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